Me-lan-cho-ly
I’ve been feeling melancholic since I woke up this morning. It was probably because of the big fight I had with my mom the previous night. We exchanged hurtful words at each other. I didn’t mean to say anything back at her, but I have kept mum for a long time and I just blew up yesterday night. The bottom line is, all I want for her to do is appreciate the things I do, even if it’s just the littlest thing. I don’t ask for much. A little thank you would do.
To add to the depressing mood, I had a bad dream this morning. In my dream, Ryan broke up with me and I couldn’t believe that it happened. I kept on looking out my bedroom window, waiting for him to come back, but he didn’t. Inside my dream, I realized I was dreaming, and I wanted so much to wake up. I kept on crying in my dream because I can’t wake up. When I finally did, I found myself really crying and I coldn’t breathe properly. I sat straight up to catch my breath. I sent a text message to Ryan and told him about my dream. He said that, “It’s just a dream. It’s not real.” …well, I hope so.
Upto now, I still feel so low. My eyes are still sore from all the crying. I suffered a bad headache since last night, pretended it didn’t hurt when I got to school, and still pretended I am alright when I spoke to Ryan on the phone this afternoon. I don’t want him to know that I still feel bad. I know it’s hard to be in his situation. He’s there and I’m here, and he can’t do anything to physically comfort me and make me feel better. The truth is, I wished he’s here with me right now to just embrace me and make me feel that everything is going to be alright.
I feel so cold and alone. Literally.
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Sarah
February 1, 2007 @ 1:15 am
hey! I hope you are feeling better by now.
And yeah, panaginip lang yun.. pero sabi nila yung mga tao sa panaginip mo represents you .. baka gusto mo makipagsplit keh Ryan? May problems ba??? Not just in your relationship, baka problems mo as an individual is affecting it too.. hugs!!!
kaya mo yan Dre!
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