One Of..

So I was minding my own business, walking along the hallways of my old self, then I stumbled upon this picture. Oh yeah, that old picture.

(Author decided not to show the picture…)

I told myself, “new school year, new everything.” I was fresh out of a bad relationship and I decided I won’t fall in love today. I always say that to myself after I close the gate behind me on my way to school.

I ride the same bus, sit at the 3rd row from the backend; see the same stops, and yet, I see different types of people who get on and off the bus. Some seem to be going some place important, and some seems to just want to ride the bus.

I get off at Taft Ave., walk for 15 minutes, if I still have time to kill, towards my beloved school, or I do half-running and half-panting to my first class.

I was alright. I was getting along fine with my blockmates. My subjects were pretty easy. I was that laid back girl who goes to school for the fun of it. Nah! Lol.

Two months have passed and then suddenly the reason for going to school, changed… So, someone noticed that I am pretty, or maybe that, I am different among the few girls from our class. I had really short hair, siyete, they call it. My sense of style is quite outstanding. (That’s what I tell myself) Lol. I spoke my mind a lot, and I don’t put make-up on.

He handed me a note saying,
“Hey Dre. I was wondering if I could get your landline number… Just for reference.” — Nathan

I returned the note with an upside down smiley (:

I didn’t walk alone that day to City Hall to wait for the bus to arrive. Lots of questions were exchanged. Where I live, what I like, what I hate, if I’m single, if I’ve had a boyfriend… I brushed off some of the questions, and all his questions bounced back to him.

One bus… two buses… three buses… four buses…

… by then, I lost count of all the buses that passed before I finally rode one to go home…

I received a call from Nathan that night. We talked for hours on end about a lot of things, different things. That went on for about a month, until finally, he asked if he can come see me at home. So he did.

Another two months of wooing me and the household, we finally became what people call, couple. A couple of asswipes? Lol.

The first few months were blissful, as if he was the perfect guy. He doesn’t do anything wrong, and if he did, he would tell me. I thought he was for keeps until that day came.

He was at Boracay with his family. (I was supposed to go but my parents didn’t allow me…) He asked me to check his email for him. I opened his email and there were no new messages. I am not the type to snoop around. I don’t even look at other people’s cellphone messages unless they want to show it to me. I saw an email from a girl. I wasn’t going to read it, until I came across the subject “I miss you so bad…”

Forwarded message?

It took me a while before I finally opened it.

Stunned. Frozen. Mad.

He’s been seeing another girl behind my back? Different thoughts ran through my head.

Did he want me to find this so that he didn’t have to explain anything to me?

I did not return his phone calls, text messages or IMs. I was too hurt to make my head cooperate. Endless battles of mixed emotions surged from beyond what I could imagine.

I thought I’d never be here, again.

But life is full of disappointments. You just have to make do with the small amount of happiness that comes your way. I guess, love and I are just two different things, or should I say, I am cynical when it comes to love now.

I shall end this argument with myself that I am but a hopeful skeptic…

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