i just have this feeling that i won’t be in a relationship anytime soon, or ever. it just seems that noboby really has an interest in me. it’s always based on the physical aspect, and that i lack…even if my friends tell me i am pretty, i just don’t feel as confident as i used to. most of the guys i meet do not ask for a 2nd date or whatever shit. i am not perfect, but i know there are qualities in me that are likeable. why am i even living in this society, where beauty is such a big factor? i don’t need a hunk for a boyfriend, i just need someone who’ll be able to understand me, take care of me… someone that i can love and be happy with… i have been single and alone for more than a year now, believe me when i say it is hard. why? i have always had someone, and i guess, i am just not used to being in this situation. i don’t even like it. not a bit. i may sound pathetic, but anyone in my situation would understand. i am not happy with my life. i don’t even have anything. yes, i do have friends, but they too have their own dillema, with their special someones. i miss those. the lover’s quarrels, and the reconciliations after those. i miss the late night phonecalls talking about nothing. the short and sweet text messages on my cellphone. the cute and cuddly teddybears that i get, even if i don’t like getting one… i am not the type of person who calls up a friend and whine about my life. (i do it here!) i am the type who friends call and listen to them whine… i always have to be strong for them…and when i cry, they just don’t seem to comfort me. i guess because it takes a lot of effort to do so. am i that deep?

i’m tired of being alone,
so hurry up and get here…
~ love song for no one – john mayer